More Blonde Jokes!
To a blonde, what is long and hard?
The 4th grade.
Why was the blonde in the tree?
Because she was raking up the leaves!
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
A blonde was asked what the capital of California was. “That’s easy,” she said. “It’s C.”
Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs?
They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Why can’t Blondes dial 911?
They can’t find the 11 on the phone!
Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?
They went to see “Closed for Winter”.
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
“Oh look! Donut seeds!”
Did you hear about the blonde who tripped over her cordless phone?
How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday?
Tell it to her on Tuesday.
Why did a blonde write “TGIF” on her shoes?
To remind her that “toes go in first.”
What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.
Did you hear about the blonde who locked herself in the car?
One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization. The red-head said, “I’m going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it.” Then the brunette said, “I’m going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat.” And then the blonde said “I’m going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was trying to make up her mind.
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redhead’s tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunette’s tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blonde’s tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes,”MOOOOOOOOOO!”
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
The power went out for 7 hours leaving 12 blondes stranded on their way to the second floor on the escalator.
Three blondes were walking through a forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, “I think these are bird tracks.”
The second blonde looked at them and said, “No, these are deer tracks!”
The third blonde looked down and BOOM! she got run over by a train!
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Filed under Blonde Jokes by on Aug 15th, 2011. 1 Comment. 
Check out our great Blonde Jokes!
Why couldn’t the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
She couldn’t find the recipe.
It’s with great sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains…yes, her husband just died.
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant
Why do blondes love lightning?
They think somebody is taking their picture.
And more Blonde Jokes..
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Give her a bag of M & M’s and tell her to alphabetize them.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
The blonde works in the dark!
What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot.
What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
The Branch Manager.
What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.
What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
There have been sightings of UFOs.
How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?
Shine a flashlight in their ear.
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
She moved.
How do you measure a blonde’s intelligence?
Put a tire pressure gauge in their ear.
Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
She saw “911″ and thought it was a Porsche.
What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
They’re both empty from the neck up.
How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s white-out on the screen.
What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
She took the 33 bus twice instead.
What do you call 25 blondes standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.
What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A blonde parade.
Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container?
Because it said (from) “Concentrate”.
How many blondes does it take to play tag?
One.
The Blonde Jokes keep on coming!
What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A rebel without a clue!
What is a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
Why is the blonde’s brain the size of a pea in the morning?
It swells at night.
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde had just robbed a bank and they were trying to escape from the cops. They ran down an alley and saw three huge potato sacks. They hopped inside just in time, and the cops didn’t see them. Puzzled, the cops looked at the bags suspiciously. One cop kicked the brunette’s bag, she meowed, and the cop thought nothing of it. He then kicked the redhead’s bag, she barked, and the cop thought it was just some garbage. Then he moved on to the blonde’s bag. He kicked it and she said “Potatoes! Potatoes!”
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Filed under Blonde Jokes by on Aug 15th, 2011. Comment.