desserts

SMS Jokes

Funny SMS Jokes!

Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? That’s how dogs spend their entire lives.

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested.

Join the army, meet interesting people and then … kill them…

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

I like Kids. But I don’t think I could eat a whole one.

The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”

Lots of people stop working once they’ve found a job!

I said no to drugs, but they didn’t listen!

Your future depends on your dreams – So go to sleep!

Crime doesn’t pay…Does that mean my job is a crime? Rabbit at computer desk funny jokes

I am still single, my parents-in-law were not able to have children.

What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
About 45 pounds!

It’s no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

Being nuts or crazy is inheritable, you get it from your children.

More SMS jokes…

Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop.

Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

If being ugly hurt, you’d be in pain all day long.

I started out with nothing… and I still have most of it!

I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears..

My mother-in-law walks 5 miles every day… I wonder where she’d be by now.

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!

You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool…

Thanks for reading our funny SMS jokes.