More Redneck Jokes!
You might be a redneck if…
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
You think “Meals on Wheels” is another name for roadkill.
You’ve ever been arrested for a DUI on a riding lawn mower.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
When a sign that says “Say No To Crack!” reminds you to pull up your jeans.
You ever called your sister “Mom” and didn’t have to correct yourself.
Your mama calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire…on her house.
You think the only tools “real men” need are duck tape and caulk, and you have several successful repair projects to prove it.
Could she get a DUI for that?
Your wife has ever taken two pairs of shoes to a funeral: one pair to trudge thru the wet Georgia red clay between the house and the pickup, and the other pair to wear at the funeral.
More Redneck Jokes!
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You have to check your coke can before you take a drink just in case you have mistaken it for your spit can.
You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can’t remember how old your children are.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
You have flowers planted in a toilet in your front yard.
You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.
You refuse to wash your truck on account that you have a strong suspicion that mud and rust is all that’s holding it together.
When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
You think those yellow traffic signs that say “Slow children at play” means the kids in the area are not too bright.
On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
Your grandfather can sense a storm coming by a uncontrollable twitching in his knee.
You think your IQ is the number of coons you shot out of season.
You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
There have ever been any gun parts, magazines, or ammunition stored on the window ledge of your kitchen. Particularly if they have if they have laid there long enough for the sun to bleach the paper on the shotgun shells.
Hope you’ve enjoyed our you might be a redneck jokes.
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Filed under Redneck Jokes by on Aug 22nd, 2011. 1 Comment. 