Teacher Jokes

Teacher jokes! Here we have a bunch of jokes for teachers and teacher jokes for students. We’ve all been in school and had teachers at one time or another. Here are some great jokes to share in class or with your class. Enjoy!

Teacher Jokes for Students

The first line in each joke is either a parent or teacher and the second is the student.

You missed school yesterday didn’t you?
Not very much!

Why can’t you ever answer any of my questions?
Well if I could there wouldn’t be much point in me being here!

Does your teacher like you?
Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X’s on my test paper!

I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!
I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you!

What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

How was your first day at school?
It was all right except for some person called “teacher” who kept spoiling all our fun!

I told you to stand at the end of the line?
I tried, but there was someone already there!

Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
Well, you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

What do we do with crude oil ?
Teach it some manners!

Teacher Jokes for Teachers

You might be a teacher if…

You encourage your spouse by telling them they are a “good helper”.

You know a hundred good reasons for being late.

You think “extremely annoying” should have its own box on the report card.

You want to smack the next person who says, “it must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers off”.

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

Do you have trouble hearing?
No, I have trouble listening!

About a week ago, I came across an Internet advise column that told me how to eliminate the paperwork clutter on my desk. Awesome, I thought. So I printed out the five pages of how-to instructions, and placed them on top of the rest of the stuff on my desk. Now I can’t find them.

Random Teacher and School Jokes

What is the difference between a school bus driver and a cold?
One knows the stops and one stops the nose.

What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man!

What would happen if you took the school bus home?
The police would make you bring it back.

What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
A bunch of blood tests.

Why did the teacher turn the lights on?
Because the class was so dim.

What’s the worst thing you’re likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food!

Stay in school…
Because you are never going to find a job!

If you would like to share your own teacher jokes please leave them in the comment box below. Thanks.

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